Stop taking advice from the wrong people… even if that person might be me

There’s a strange phenomenon I’ve seen time and time again: people blindly follow advice from the wrong source. Not bad advice, necessarily. Just wrong for them.

I’ve done it. You’ve probably done it. We’ve all had those moments where we heard someone on a podcast say something like “You just need to grind 16 hours a day for 10 years and then one day you’ll look up and own a private island.”

Sounds inspiring… until you realize that person has a live-in chef, no kids, and a net worth higher than the GDP of a small country.

That’s not advice. That’s autobiography.

And depending on where you are in life… that advice might be worse than useless. It might be poison.

Let me give you a different picture.

Imagine you’re playing Super Mario Bros for the first time. You’ve barely figured out how to avoid falling into holes and dodging Goombas, and someone tells you, “Here’s what I did to beat Bowser on the super-secret final level on Hardcore mode.”

Meanwhile, you’re just trying to figure out how to get past that annoying jump in World 1-2.

That kind of advice isn’t helpful. It’s just overwhelming.

But in real life, we make this mistake all the time.

We take billion-dollar advice while trying to earn our first thousand.

We model our mornings after a 5 a.m. routine that only works if you don’t have a toddler who wakes up at 2:59 a.m. screaming about a missing sock.

We structure our business based on someone who built theirs in the ’90s when email open rates were 90%, and the internet was a friendly place full of dancing baby GIFs and dial-up tones.

Worse, we treat it like gospel.

I’ve had people come to me and say, “Ray, I watched this billionaire’s interview, and he said if I’m not working 100 hours a week, I don’t want it bad enough.”

Meanwhile, this person is a single mom with two kids (one a newborn), a full-time job, and a dog that needs to be walked twice a day or the living room becomes a Jackson Pollock exhibit.

Look… I’m not knocking the billionaire. But that person hasn’t been in your phase of life for decades. Maybe never.

Same goes for the young hustlers giving 10 tips to crush it on Instagram while sipping matcha in Bali. They might mean well, but they’re not building around PTA meetings, aging parents, or planning what to cook for dinner. They’re building for a different season.

Advice only works when it matches the context of your life.

The phase. The pressure. The priorities.

There’s a Japanese concept in kendo called kaizen. It’s the practice of continuous improvement, one cut at a time. But here’s what they don’t tell you in all those business books that quote it: kaizen only works if you’re actually in the dojo, doing your reps, your way.

You don’t show up to your first day at the dojo, grab a sword, and ask what Mushashi would do. You ask your teacher what you should be doing right now – at your level.

Because here’s the truth no one likes to admit: there’s no one-size-fits-all path.

That means your time is precious, and your trust even more so.

So here’s my offer to you, with full self-awareness:

If you’re a business professional, a coach, or a course creator…

If you’re a grown adult with a life… and responsibilities… and a calendar that’s already held together with sticky notes and prayer…

If you want to build an online school to share your knowledge and support you and your family comfortably, but you can’t or don’t want to throw 80 hours a week at it just to keep up with the latest “10x your hustle” nonsense…

Then maybe you can listen to me.

Because I’ve been there. I’ve built multiple seven-figure education businesses while raising a family and not losing my mind (most days). I know what it’s like to build when you’re not in your 20s with unlimited time and ramen-fueled energy.

But if that’s not you?

If you do have time to grind 18 hours a day with no strings attached…

If your biggest responsibility is your protein powder subscription…

Then, with all due respect, don’t waste your time listening to me. I’m not your guy.

Find the person who’s has walked the path you are walking, not just somebody at the destination you want to be at.

That’s who you should be taking advice from.

Not me. Not some billionaire. Not the Bali nomad.

Just the version of you who has already walked the same road.