“I can’t change… I’m a [fill-in-the-generation]” is the new astrology.

Except it’s not fun, doesn’t involve moon signs, and definitely won’t help you grow.

I had a conversation with one of my team members recently, and she said something I’ve started to hear a lot more often. Not word-for-word, but it went something like:

“It’s just how I am because I’m a Boomer/Millennial/Gen X/Gen Z…”

She said it casually, like that explained everything. Like her generational label was enough of a reason to stop the conversation there.

And I’ve got to be honest… I don’t buy it.

First off, generalizing entire groups of people based on a few stereotypes has never worked out that well in the history of, well, anything. But more importantly, it’s being used as a subtle little shield. A way to avoid doing the harder work of growth and change.

And once I started noticing it, I couldn’t unsee it. It’s creeping into all sorts of conversations. I hear it in meetings, I see it in content online, I’ve even had a few coaching clients try to use it as a reason they’re stuck. It’s becoming a thing.

But here’s the part that gets me:

I’ve lived in the US, Europe, the Middle East, and Latin America. And outside of Western circles, I almost never hear people talk like this.

None of my team in Latin America has ever said, “I struggle with feedback because I’m Gen X.” My older staff from the Philippines, most born in the 70s, don’t blame tech issues on being born in a certain decade. They just try. Some do great, others don’t, but no one drags their generational identity into it like it’s some kind of default setting.

So what happened here in the West?

When did the year you were born become a valid excuse to stay the same?

Is it a kind of soft fatalism? A belief that your personality was stamped on you like an expiration date the moment you were born?

Is it just pop psychology repackaged to feel smart?

I honestly don’t know.

What I do know is that I build online schools for a living. And I work with people every day who are trying to change something – about their business, their career, or sometimes just themselves.

And I see people change. All the time.

I’ve seen folks get more confident. I’ve watched them improve their tech skills, rewrite their messaging, start showing up when they used to hide. No magic. No perfect circumstances. Just a bit of structure and a decision to move forward.

Not once did I hear someone succeed and say, “Well I couldn’t have done this if I was a Gen X.”

Nobody says that, because when you’re actually making progress, the labels stop mattering.

And sure, not everyone moves at the same speed. Some folks hit walls. Some get stuck. But I’ve never seen anyone get better by saying, “This is just how I am.”

So again, I’m not criticizing, I’m just asking. Genuinely.

What is this belief really about?

Is it comfort? Is it fear? Is it just something we picked up from headlines and never questioned?

Because if you believe that your year of birth gets to dictate your future… well, you’ve already handed the steering wheel to something you can’t change.

And you know what’s wild?

You can change. Maybe not everything, maybe not all at once, but more than you think. Especially if you stop giving yourself an out before you’ve even tried.

So next time you feel the urge to say, “Well, I’m just a [insert generation here]…” maybe pause.

And try saying, “I don’t know this yet, but I’m working on it.”